Fighting negativity

With my past history of weight gain, fighting negativity re: weight is always an issue for me. Right now I’m struggling not being depressed about my weight. I know I’m supposed to gain an average of 5 pounds for the first trimester and so far I think I’ve gained 10.

$$%$#$%##!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is what I’m thinking, I’ve been eating more, because it makes my gag reflex go away and I’m not as tired, not as cranky and I have more energy. Because I have more energy I’ve been adding to my workouts slowly. This week will be my first week in 2 months that I will have worked out 4x a week, which is a HUGE improvement for me since I was feeling so dreadfully awful in the first 4-6 weeks.

I’ve also been eating better. My veggie intake has diminished since I’ve been pregnant so I’m trying to jump back on that bandwagon, eat less fatty foods, more dense, higher protein. Still, i weighed myself yesterday and felt like crying. My doctor is going to yell at me on Tuesday because I’ve gained too much weight. What the #$$$% am I supposed to do?! Stop eating and starve my baby? Nope…  

Okay I’m clearly frustrated. I’m also claustrophobic of gaining weight and so far I’ve been patient with myself knowing that this is natural and that I am going to be gaining weight, but my back is getting flabbier, my thighs are bigger, my stomach is HUGE, it looks like I’m already in my 2nd trimester. What am I supposed to do!?!! 3 hours of cardio a day in addition to weight training. =( that’s what I feel like I have to do.

It’s great to start my birthday so far. I am trying not to worry about it, I’m going to get a good workout in, only for it to all go down the drain in my awesome birthday supper tonight.

The doc is getting an earful on Tuesday, with a lot of sad questions and probably a depressed mother.

I think I’m going to workout twice today. Cardio this morning and weights this afternoon. Thank goodness I can workout, it’s the only thing that makes me feel better.

If only someone had told me that yesterday. 

My advice to women who are pregnant is always to at LEAST workout when you are pregnant, sometimes watching what you eat is not the easiest, unless you have your own personal nutritionist living wtih you in your home. With the extra hormones cravings are quite friendly. But keeping yourself active and moving around working out is definitely a huge bonus.

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  1. #1 by Melissa Lynn Benham on September 1, 2011 - 08:13

    Miriam,
    I know how hard it can be to deal with gaining weight. I haven’t taken it well myself lately, and have been pretty hard on myself. But, in your case, baby needs his/her nutrients, so you have to give them to him/her, eh? I am sure that you look beautiful and I know that you are doing the best you can do – that’s what matters, my friend, that’s what matters. Your baby is going thank you for keeping him/her healthy and satisfied, for sure. 🙂

  2. #2 by Therese Olsen on September 1, 2011 - 11:33

    I totally know what you’re going through! It took me 3 pregnancies to come to grips with the fact that being a mom is more important than the perfect body. But it’s still depressing. I had/have very similar issues with weight gain and depression. I remember how I almost cried when the scale inched above 150 for the first time during the last trimester of my first pregnancy.
    You’ve done awesome for the first trimester! There were some weeks where I was lucky if I got just 2 short workouts in a week! I’ve been constantly eating too, cuz your right, it helps keep the nasuea under control. For me, it’s a hard thing to accept as ok because I’d been trying to eat only when hungry. I don’t know about you, but nausea hits way before feelings of hunger during that first trimester. 😦 Right now, I’m refusing to step on the scale. I’ll wait for the midwife to do the necessary evil.
    On the bright side, just wait til that second trimester. It really is a beautiful time. The first time you feel the baby move…
    The second trimester is always my time to really get things done, including some great workouts. And your sooo right. Women who are pregnant shouldn’t skip their workouts. But do listen to your body, it’s doing this for the first time and it’s a workout in itself so don’t beat yourself up if you decide to nap instead of workout. 🙂 This is literally THE hardest thing your body has ever done. Love and prayers….

  3. #3 by Mom on September 1, 2011 - 16:58

    Miriam,

    Don’t skimp too much on the natural saturated fats. your baby needs them for normal development , esp for baby’s lungs. If you have a chance, listen to the video I posted the other day. It is a cardiac surgeon and he is talking about the importance of saturated fats. Listen to the very end and you won’t be sorry,. Let me know what you think when you have done so.

    You and Therese should keep each other company, you are so close in due dates. Misery loves company is the old saying, but having a baby isn’t what is making you miserable. That is such a blessing. It is the “little” things caused by that event. Just remember that baby needs certain nutrients and will take them first and leave the remainder for you. So always be sure you have enough for both of you.

    Know that we love you and are keeping you and Paul and the baby in our prayers every day.

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