Today, was a hard day for me. It started off great only to be tearing my heart strings by the end of the evening.
I went to visit a “friend” to help them learn how to cook, well instead it turned out to be an hour of
– Insulting the way I eat (staying away from refined sugars, eating very naturally, clean, non processed foods.) Making fun of me, basically cause the way I choose to eat isn’t “enjoyable.”
– Saying that what I have been posting on facebook is not right and also not friendly to others on facebook. I shouldn’t be posting anything of a religious political matter and I shouldn’t be allowing myself to come across as “angry”. As if I give a f*** about what other people think about me on facebook, thank you very much. (sorry for the crude words, but blogging is sometimes my therapy and I’m not holding back!)
– Judging how I spend my money, because if I save up for something that’s expensive and buy it for myself (which affects my eating, it helps be healthier, etc) I’m putting my family in jeporady. [According to the laws of nature, as a mother, I shalt not EVER spend money on myself, even if it’s a treat. (Note the sarcasm)]
– Oh, and to top it all, this person did/said all of this in a condescending manner and tone of voice- like my parents and with a look that screams “you’re a child and you don’t know what the hell you’re doing.” AND do it in front of someone else that has nothing to do it any of it.
Now tell me, how would that make you feel? Think long and hard.
Every time I see or visit this person, I feel awful and angry after the visit is over. I feel worthless, like I’ve been some piece of paper that’s been stomped on, ripped apart and put through the shredder. Friends shouldn’t make you feel like that, (sure if you’re being an idiot, you deserve an honest opinion, but not every single bloody time you hang out with them so much that you dread even conversing with them)
My words of advice this evening are: if you are around people that are making you doubt your abilities as a human being, and are putting you down instead of raising you up, they are turning you into an angry person for no good reasons, then maybe it’s time to start looking for some new friends. Start a new leaf and rid yourself of these people in your lives.
Cause that’s what I’m doing. I’m not going to let someone make me so angry that my son or my children have to feel the affects of it. They don’t deserve that and I sure as HELL don’t.