Posts Tagged strength
Yes, my blog has been inactive for the past year, and it has been somewhat intentional.
I got pregnant (unplanned) last November. It rocked my world, at the time it didn’t seem like a positive rocking. I was still in the process of losing the baby weight from baby #1, and I had everything worked out, I was going back to work the next April. I work in the fitness industry and to know that I wouldn’t be my slim self again really hurt my ego. Basically, this unplanned pregnancy took all my planning and threw it out the window. It also challenged me in so many ways, ways I am so grateful for now, it taught me to be grateful, grateful for what you have in life: fertility, health. It also brought out good traits of my personality I didn’t know exist in me, strength I didn’t know that I had, will power that I didn’t know I could harness, etc etc. This is my post sharing with you all what my journey has been like.
(I should mention that this period of time also brought out really negative aspects of my personality that I had to deal with and really try to not let take over me. It was hard!)
When I got pregnant, I was on the Ketogenic diet, which was really hard, but it was producing the results I wanted. I was also starving all.the.freaking.time. it was so annoying, and it wasn’t a pregnancy thing because I was experiencing that before I got pregnant. I continued on the ketogenic diet for a few months until about January when I felt that it probably wasn’t so healthy for the baby, after which I felt lost nutrition wise. Because I hadn’t lost all the baby weight from baby#1 (I was about 20 pounds away) I knew that I could not gain much weight with this baby. That meant more exercise than the previous pregnancy and a very different diet. Then I found paleo, I had been reading up on paleo before I got pregnant, I had been exposed to it but I didn’t know if I wanted to completely eliminate grains. Well, it ended up fitting my cravings and hunger extremely well. Not only did my energy INCREASE more while pregnant, I was overall much more satisfied and my weight and my gain ended up totaling roughly 22-24 pounds by the time I gave birth.
January rolled around, and our finances were so tight, we went through a 2 week period with little to no food, I was starving, and I understood how homeless people felt. I would look at people in restaurants and be envious that they had food, and that they had money to pay for food, I would go by the grocery store just drooling for anything in there to eat. It was bad, luckily enough it only lasted about 2 weeks and things got better. In that period of time I was praying that my baby was okay, and that I was strong enough to keep the baby healthy despite lack of food. In addition to going through a starvation period, we decided to make some drastic life changes. My husband was going to return to the US (where he’s from) to work and I would stay in Canada, work till I gave birth, and my son would stay with my parents(two hours away from me) as we couldn’t afford daycare. I would visit on the weekends.
We moved February 1st, in the winter, it was freezing and we were exhausted and I was still in my first trimester. I moved into a shoebox apartment without a kitchen, just some small appliances to get me by. My husband left a week later. I ended up working shortly after that because we needed the money (So instead of 12 months of mat leave, I only took 10). Those first few months of being separated from my husband and my son were the hardest things I have ever experienced in my life. Needless to say, I hit rock bottom. I have never hit rock bottom before in my life. It could have been a mixture of pregnancy hormones and loneliness but I remember bawling my eyes out in my apartment wondering wtf was happening in my life and not knowing what was going to come of it. Finances were SOO tight, I counted every single penny (until it got phased out in Canada, lol), every dollar and pinched everywhere I could. It led me to start reading finance books and in the span of 8 months I have really smartened up my finances and have a plan to pay off all debt by the end of 2014 or soon after.
Things got somewhat better, I developed some new hobbies, and focused more on educating myself. It was the only thing I could do spending my lonely evenings by myself and the weekends I couldn’t make it to visit my son (as gas is pretty expensive.) I went to the library a lot, did a lot of reading, tried to prepare myself as much as possible for childbirth in a more educational way. Finally around end of June my nesting hit and I realized I would have a baby soon. In this time period I was working out 5 days a week, weight lifting 3 of those sessions and walking the other two. I continued my ab workouts until my 3rd trimester. My weights remained heavy right up until the end of my pregnancy. The last workout I had before I gave birth was a leg workout that involved squats and lunges. I monitored my intensity via my HR monitor.
I gave birth on August 19th to my son, it lasted 4 hours and baby came out on the 2nd push. Overall it was 50% less painful than my first baby. I couldn’t believe it, A week after I gave birth I moved from my shoebox apartment to my parents house. I was exhausted and in this time I was also trying to increase my milk supply by doing everything under the sun to increase it and also not be stressed out while having to move and not lift too heavy items.
Yes at this point my husband is still away. We are finally all going to be together next week.
In the past months a lot has been going through my mind and the itch to blog again has arisen, I wanted to write this post and get it off my chest.
Basically, we are stronger human beings than we think we are. I know now, that I am strong, and that I can do what I need to do for my family in crazy circumstances should they arise. This has been the hardest thing I have done in my life, the past 8 months. I do not wish it on anyone, but man did it shape me. I am stronger, more educated (about myself and other things), more patient and realize that we, as humans have SO much to be grateful for. I have a new outlook on life, it could be worse. Everyone’s situation could be worse. It’s all a matter of perspective. I consider that to be the greatest gift (other than my baby) during this rough period.
I’ll be posting quite a bit more, in reference to things I have learned physically and fitness wise during my pregnancy that I hope will help all those who follow my blog for fitness/nutrition help! 🙂
I should also mention that towards the end of our separation we have received SO many blessings and signs pointing that this whole decision we made for our family has been worth it!
More to come in the next few weeks.